Hampshire &amp; Isle of Wight

Oh my, I am inspired to actually complete the one really BIG goal that I set for 2020., now that I have these tools to help me stay focused&#8230; I am excited and know I can do it, and will chunk it into do-able parts. The date is now set to accomplish it and I promise, I will indeed celebrate 🎉 once it is done!! Yay! Thank you!

Go on then, who has broken their resolutions already? *raises hand sheepishly*
Every year we decide this is the year we&#8217;re going to cook everything from scratch, have less vino in the evening and that we&#8217;re absolutely, definitely not going scoff that entire family size bar of Galaxy, but by mid-January, it&#8217;s usually long forgotten.
Determined to make this year different, we sought the expertise of local Success Coach, <a href="https://www.alexandraterhalle.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Alexandra Terhalle</a> about how to make resolutions work for us rather than against us.
<img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="alignnone wp-image-15561 size-full" src="https://hants.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2019/10/Alexandra-terhalle.jpg" alt="" width="1000" height="863" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2019/10/Alexandra-terhalle.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2019/10/Alexandra-terhalle-300x259.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2019/10/Alexandra-terhalle-768x663.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2019/10/Alexandra-terhalle-579x500.jpg 579w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" />Alexandra definitely knows her stuff. An American ex-pat, she holds a coaching degree from the University of Cambridge and has worked within the fields of PR, media, higher education and start-ups &#8211; all areas dominated by super-successful people.
These are her eight top tips on how to absolutely crush those goals in 2020.
Finding The Reason Why
<img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="alignnone wp-image-17261 size-full" src="https://hants.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/ask-blackboard-chalk-board-chalkboard-356079.jpg" alt="" width="1000" height="853" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/ask-blackboard-chalk-board-chalkboard-356079.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/ask-blackboard-chalk-board-chalkboard-356079-300x256.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/ask-blackboard-chalk-board-chalkboard-356079-768x655.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/ask-blackboard-chalk-board-chalkboard-356079-586x500.jpg 586w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" />First and foremost, you&#8217;ve got to work out the &#8216;why?&#8217; behind your resolution. Ask anybody and they&#8217;re sure to say they want to be richer/skinnier/fluent in French, but the question has got to be is it for themselves&#8230; or to impress someone else?
Grab a pen and paper and doing ten minutes of journalling aka &#8216;a brain dump&#8217;, to find out how you&#8217;re feeling, what your motivations are and what&#8217;s holding you back. It doesn&#8217;t have to be pretty, and it doesn&#8217;t even need to make too much sense, but the act of getting it down will reveal more than you could imagine. Alexandra highlights &#8220;If it&#8217;s for an external person, it just won&#8217;t work. It has to be for yourself.&#8221;
Make it Postive
<img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="alignnone wp-image-17258 size-full" src="https://hants.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/Creative-resolution-painting.jpg" alt="Creative resolution painting" width="1000" height="696" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/Creative-resolution-painting.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/Creative-resolution-painting-300x209.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/Creative-resolution-painting-768x535.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/Creative-resolution-painting-718x500.jpg 718w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" />We tend to spend a lot of time setting negative goals which can feel a little bit like a punishment when the novelty has worn off.  Simply taking a &#8220;Do not &#8230;.&#8221; resolution and flipping it into &#8220;I will&#8230;&#8221; can make it much easier to stick to.
Also, take a look a look at your life as a whole and set some fun targets for other areas such as creativity, family-life and your mental health. These often get overlooked when we&#8217;re focusing on the typical fitness and career trajectory goals. By making sure that we are as happy as possible in our personal life, it&#8217;ll help us make strides to the more traditional goals we set ourselves.
Break it Up
Pledging to run a marathon when you&#8217;re more used to marathoning boxsets on Netflix isn&#8217;t an easy &#8211; or realistic &#8211; goal to set.  By taking a goal and &#8220;chunking it down&#8221; into smaller more manageable mini-goals that can be achieved in just a couple of days &#8211; or even a few minutes &#8211; it will make the whole thing a lot less intimidating.
Commit To Them
Accountability can make or break a resolution. Telling others about what you&#8217;re trying to achieve can really help as you&#8217;ll be more inclined to keep going if someone is likely to ask. Another of Alexandra&#8217;s top accountability tips is to type your resolutions up, laminate them and put them somewhere you will see them every day &#8211; either on the fridge or even, her personal favourite, by sticking them up on the glass so you can read them while in the shower.
Set a Date
<img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="alignnone wp-image-17260 size-full" src="https://hants.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/writings-in-a-planner-636246.jpg" alt="writings-in-a-planner-636246" width="1000" height="665" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/writings-in-a-planner-636246.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/writings-in-a-planner-636246-300x200.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/writings-in-a-planner-636246-768x511.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/writings-in-a-planner-636246-720x479.jpg 720w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" />&#8220;Ask yourself how much do you want to do and when do you want to do it by?&#8221;
With your newly laid out mini-milestones glued to your bathroom wall, try to set a fixed date with clear actionable steps for each one. By adding a deadline it will give you the drive to complete it within that timeframe or even urge you to do it beforehand. Added bonus? By ticking an item off your goal sheet you&#8217;ll get a little dopamine rush that will want you craving more achievement. Woohoo!
Just &#8220;Lean In&#8221;
Be prepared to change your goals along the way. Honestly, it&#8217;s not cheating!
&#8220;Deviating is not a failure. You can change your goals as you go, and if you&#8217;re finding yours are becoming hard, try to sit and see what will make them more manageable. It means they&#8217;ll be a lot more achievable and you&#8217;re less likely to give up.&#8221;
We all have an &#8220;internal GPS&#8221; according to Alexandra, and we should listen to our instincts. If your gut is telling you that you&#8217;re not getting to where you want to be, by listening to it and taking appropriate action you&#8217;ll be able to get back on track rather than just giving up and chalking it up as another resolution defeat.
CELEBRATE!
<img decoding="async" loading="lazy" class="alignnone wp-image-17259 size-full" src="https://hants.muddystilettos.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/woman-holding-a-smiley-balloon-1236678.jpg" alt="woman-holding-a-smiley-balloon-1236678" width="1000" height="666" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/woman-holding-a-smiley-balloon-1236678.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/woman-holding-a-smiley-balloon-1236678-300x200.jpg 300w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/woman-holding-a-smiley-balloon-1236678-768x511.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2020/01/woman-holding-a-smiley-balloon-1236678-720x480.jpg 720w" sizes="(max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px" />Often when we achieve something we&#8217;re quick to move onto the next task but its really important to celebrate these moments.
&#8220;Treat yourself when you accomplish a goal and even the mini-milestones too.&#8221;
Find something you really love and go for it. That little reward for a job well done will keep you on the straight and narrow towards overall success.
For more on Alexandra Terhalle – including Skype, Zoom, FaceTime and in-person one-to-one coaching sessions  – see <a href="https://www.alexandraterhalle.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>.

Eight Tips For Resolution Success

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