Hampshire &amp; Isle of Wight


<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="1000" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/woman-sat-on-a-bench-sad.jpg" alt="Woman sat on a bench alone sad divorce January" class="wp-image-29512" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/woman-sat-on-a-bench-sad.jpg 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/woman-sat-on-a-bench-sad-800x533.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/woman-sat-on-a-bench-sad-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/woman-sat-on-a-bench-sad-768x512.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/woman-sat-on-a-bench-sad-788x525.jpg 788w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<p>Blue Monday, cold weather, diets and, this year, seemingly never-ending winter strikes. Then there’s the fact that January is notorious as being the Divorce Month. Depressing, huh?</p>



<p>In reality, the volume of couples actually getting divorced in January isn’t vastly different to the rest of the year, according to <a href="https://parissmith.co.uk/staff/neil-davies-partner/">Neil Davies</a>, a partner in the Family Law Team at top local solicitors, Paris Smith. One thing he has noticed, however, is the number of divorce cases going to court that really shouldn’t end up there.</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="1001" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/Paris-Smith-Neil-Davies.jpg" alt="Neil Davies Paris Smith family law divorce" class="wp-image-29513" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/Paris-Smith-Neil-Davies.jpg 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/Paris-Smith-Neil-Davies-800x534.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/Paris-Smith-Neil-Davies-1000x667.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/Paris-Smith-Neil-Davies-768x513.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/Paris-Smith-Neil-Davies-787x525.jpg 787w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<p>While it clearly won’t be possible for everyone to have an amicable divorce, there are options to get a resolution and save time, money and stress compared with going to court. Neil, it’s over to you for the lowdown.</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading" id="h-challenging-times">Challenging times</h2>



<p>While January isn’t the mad divorce rush it’s made out to be, inevitably, it will be the time when some relationships break down. Pressures arising from the Christmas and New Year period and the current cost of living crisis inevitably have an impact. And when there are financial pressures on a relationship it can well lead to discord. Sadly, some relationships will not cope with the strain.&nbsp;</p>



<p>So, if you find yourself in this situation, what should you do? Some years back, a well-resourced court may well have addressed complex issues around children and money and helped find resolutions. Unfortunately, that’s no longer the case.&nbsp;</p>



<p>As a last resort, courts will deal with issues – reluctantly. Far better, according to Sir Andrew McFarlane, the head of the family courts in England and Wales, to persuade couples to avoid the courts in the first place. <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-62272688" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">In a recent article</a>, he spoke out about how a significant number of cases should never have been before the court in the first place.</p>



<p>Many parents, in particular, see their divorce issues as a legal matter when, in truth, it is a relationship issue &#8211; and an inability to communicate and resolve matters effectively. Aside from cases where there is genuine need to offer protection or safeguarding, McFarlane made clear that alternatives to the court should be considered first and that courts are best avoided.&nbsp;</p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-full"><img decoding="async" loading="lazy" width="1500" height="994" src="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/divorce-2.jpg" alt="Divorce " class="wp-image-29514" srcset="https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/divorce-2.jpg 1500w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/divorce-2-800x530.jpg 800w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/divorce-2-1000x663.jpg 1000w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/divorce-2-768x509.jpg 768w, https://dev.muddystilettos.co.uk/hants/wp-content/uploads/sites/17/2023/01/divorce-2-792x525.jpg 792w" sizes="(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px" /></figure>



<p>So, what are the alternatives?</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Mediation</h2>



<p>The obvious place to start is with mediation. Mediation is a voluntary process where a neutral mediator is appointed to help a couple address and resolve their issues. The mediator can come from a therapeutic or a legal background, depending on the issue. In most cases, it&#8217;s impossible to start a court case unless a meeting has been held with a mediator.</p>



<p>Known as a mediation information and assessment meeting (MIAM), the couple must meet with this accredited mediator before issuing proceedings so that the mediator can explain the alternatives to going to court. They effectively act as gatekeepers to keep as many cases away from the court as possible.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Mediation is not always easy because it does require the couple to work together and see the other person’s point of view as well as their own. However, with the use of a professional guide, many couples can start to see a way through to sort matters out, whether it be for finance or children.</p>



<p>Not only that, it often helps improve communication and provides a stable base for their relationship going forward. For parents, having proved that you can sort out matters without court involvement provides the best foundation to be able to work together as you move away from being a couple to simply parents of your children.&nbsp;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Collaborative practice</h2>



<p>This is a process where both parties appoint a solicitor to represent them. The solicitors, alongside their clients, will meet together to sort matters out. They’ll commit to not going to court and, should the process break down, the solicitors will remove themselves from any future court application. The emphasis is on finding a solution away from the court and everyone will work hard to achieve that.&nbsp;</p>



<p>Both mediation and the collaborative model encourage others to come into their processes to try and help the couple if third-party expert assistance or guidance is needed. For example, it’s common for therapists to help with communication issues, pension experts to be called in for advice on how pensions could be divided and accountants to talk about tax or business interests.&nbsp;</p>



<p>In both collaborative and mediation practice, if people are totally unable to reach agreement and need someone to give an external opinion as to a fair outcome, expert barristers can give an opinion, known as a neutral evaluation. Once that assessment has been made, couples often agree terms knowing that, if they were to end up in court, the outcome would likely be the same.&nbsp;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Arbitration</h2>



<p>This is basically a private court model. The process is similar to court but much quicker and more efficient. The couple appoint an arbitrator to make decisions on their behalf and the arbitrator effectively acts as a private judge.&nbsp;</p>



<p>If a couple genuinely cannot reach agreement and need someone else to make the decisions for them, this is a quick and cost effective. Yes, you have to pay for the private judge but he or she will be an expert in family law (astonishingly, this can&#8217;t be guaranteed if you go to court). Likewise, they&#8217;ll look at matters much more quickly and have far more interest in the outcome.</p>



<p>The big saving is time as well as money, as matters can be dealt with quickly and efficiently. Conversely, in the court system, people can wait months or years to have their cases heard.&nbsp;</p>



<h2 class="wp-block-heading">Moving on</h2>



<p>As the chief judge of the family court rightly points out, no matter what the situation, court is rarely the best solution to resolve a divorce. </p>



<p>If you’re in the unfortunate position of entering the process, the best starting point is a family solicitor or a mediator who can explain the options available and help you choose the right outcome for you and your family.&nbsp;</p>



<p>The start to the year may look especially bleak this January – but its ending could soon become a lot brighter.</p>



<p><em><a href="https://parissmith.co.uk/staff/neil-davies-partner/">Neil Davies</a> is a partner, solicitor and accredited mediator at Paris Smith. For advice about divorce and mediation, call 023 8160 0702 to speak with a member of the Paris Smith&nbsp;<a href="https://parissmith.co.uk/our-people/?name_position=&amp;business_services=&amp;life_services=11&amp;specialist_services=&amp;surname=">Family team</a>.</em></p>


How to avoid a messy divorce

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